Communication communication..

Communication as a human..

By age four, most humans have developed an ability to communicate through oral language.  By age six or seven, most humans can comprehend, as well as express, written thoughts.  These unique abilities of communicating through a native language clearly separate humans from all animals.  The obvious question then arises, where did we obtain this distinctive trait?  Organic evolution has proven unable to elucidate the origin of language and communication.  Knowing how beneficial this ability is to humans, one would wonder why this skill has not evolved in other species.  Materialistic science is insufficient at explaining not only how speech came about, but also why we have so many different languages.  Linguistic research, combined with neurological studies, has determined that human speech is highly dependent on a neuronal network located in specific sites within the brain.  This intricate arrangement of neurons, and the anatomical components necessary for speech, cannot be reduced in such a way that one could produce a “transitional” form of communication. The true origin of speech and language, and the anatomical and physiological requirements.  The evidence conclusively implies that humans were created with the unique ability to employ speech for communication.

Human Needs

Human Needs

Each of us has three primary needs, meaning three needs that are more important than the other six needs, which we have to a lesser degree. When people do not get their needs met, they can become agitated, belligerent or driven to use the negative aspects of their needs.
Each of the needs is described below, with their positive aspects (how they work in positive ways) and their negative aspects (how people use more forceful or destructive ways to get their needs met).
Each person is responsible for seeing that they get their own needs met - this is an inside job, not something that is fulfilled by another person. People who share the same needs will feel a connection or common bond.
Two people who do not share at least one common need will feel little connection with another person. Co-workers who do not share similar needs will have a hard time working together. Close friends, partners and mate relationships will usually share two or three needs in common.

Security

Security is the need to feel safe, to feel assured that they know what is going to happen, to know ahead of time what the plans are. What constitutes Security can be different for different people.
Examples of how Security manifests for different people:

• Having lots of money in the bank
• Having a planned savings/retirement program
• Having a secure job
• Having a house, home and family
• Having a dependable car
• Paying off the mortgage or having no debts
• Having excellent personal and family health, or health insurance that covers any possibility
• Having life insurance to protect their family
• Having deep personal faith or personal conviction that they will be OK regardless of what happens in the world
• Carrying a gun or having a way to protect themselves
• Knowing their personal family history, or ethnic background
• Living in a gated/guarded community
• Living near friends and family.

Positive aspects: Whatever makes you feel safe, balanced, grounded, connected, safe, secure, trusting that things will be OK in your life.
Negative aspects: Overly cautious, fearful, paralyzed, indecisive, frozen in place, unable to function due to insecurity, retaliation against someone who they believe destroys their sense of Security.
How this need affects the workplace: People who have a need for Security will be more deeply affected by sudden changes, unforeseen events, real or perceived threats to their job, their livelihood, or their sense of self.  Their fear will keep them from functioning in times of crisis or potentially cause them to react strongly to someone that they feel is threatening their sense of security.  People who have a high need for security will be drawn more to working in government or public sector jobs than to entrepreneurial enterprises.
People who have a low Security need or have a need for Adventure may welcome change of any kind, while those with a high Security need may react very strongly at even minor changes. A manager who has a need for Adventure with a staff with high Security needs can create havoc and traumatic reactions very quickly.

Freedom

Freedom is the need for independence and spontaneity. It is also the need to have choices and to feel in control of making those choices. In many people, Freedom might be combined with Adventure, since a person who has a need for Freedom might be willing to partake of more Adventures, than a person who has both Freedom and Security. Freedom does not care for plans or heavy structure. What constitutes Freedom for one person may be very different from another's need perception of Freedom.
Examples of how Freedom manifests for different people:

• Having choices and making their own choices
• Feeling free to move around without restrictions
• Feeling free to make decisions in their job
• Making choices about relationships
• Choosing where they live
• Choosing what work assignments they will accept
• Teaching others how to be self-sufficient
• Refusing to obey rules that were created by someone else
• Making or enforcing rules that allow Freedom and free choices for others
• Advocating Freedom as a basic human right
• Keeping their options open by not making decisions
• Re-arranging their work space
• Changing their appearance, hair style or way of dressing
• Feeling free to be themselves, regardless of what they are doing or what situation they find themselves in
• Feeling free to search or seek out answers rather than having answers imposed upon them
• Having the freedom to work as they feel is best - either by what hours they work, what days they work, or by how they approach a job or a project
• Refusing to "make a commitment" (an easily recognized example of the need for Freedom)

Positive aspects: Independence, self-confidence, high self-esteem, teaching others, clarity, a way out of martyrdom (feeling stuck, trapped or sorry for yourself)
Negative aspects: Relationship avoidance, fear of commitment, separation and distancing from others, inability to understand others and be understood, manipulative (imposing on people's freedom).
How this need affects the workplace: People with a need for Freedom may resist any and all attempts to impose new rules on them. If they work in an "open" environment, they may excel at projects that require or reward independent thinking and spontaneity. They will make good teachers of people who are expected to exercise independent judgment.
Someone who manages a person with a need for Freedom will get along best with them when they recognize and respect that person's to make choices for themselves. People with a need for Freedom must recognize that need in themselves and not take jobs that are very rule-oriented; rather they must look for situations where their need for Freedom can be exercised appropriately.

Power

People with a need for Power need to be in a position of authority and responsibility. They need to explore Power, leadership and accomplishment. People with a need for Power tend to be good organizers and accept responsibility, setting an example of leadership.
Examples of how Power manifests for different people:

• Managing a company, a division or a department
• Becoming a leader in a civic organization or professional group
• Organizing events, trips, projects
• Achieving success
• Helping others feel empowered
• Being a well-known speaker
• Becoming an authority on some topic
• Writing a book that expresses leadership
• Being responsible for people, things, projects, events, situations
• Being a leader and recognized as a leader
• Teaching others about leadership and responsibility
• Taking command of an army or a military unit
• Taking over a country
• Rescuing a company in trouble
• Taking charge during an emergency or crisis

Positive aspects: Self-empowerment, leadership, accomplishment, success, organization of others and things, responsibility.
Negative aspects: Viciousness, abuse of power, dictatorship, inappropriate control and manipulation, anger, violence against others or things.
How this need affects the workplace: People with a need for Power will gravitate to situations that allow them to exercise their leadership skills and responsibility. This may be on a grand scale or on a smaller level. When they cannot exercise their need for Power, they may become manipulative through coercive power, threats or over-control. A person with a need for Power may exercise it in the workplace, find outlets in a community setting or in teaching others about the use of appropriate Power.
People with a need for Power may be noticed when they enter a room because they carry a strong sense of leadership and are used to be in command. These are good folks to put in charge when something needs accomplishing. They will be happiest when they feel powerful. They will be unhappiest when someone or something prevents them from exercising Power in some way, or if they feel a sense of personal failure.

Acceptance

Acceptance is the need to accept yourself and be accepted by others.  This includes a feeling of belonging.  People with a need for Acceptance are usually very easy-going and pleasant to have in a group.
Examples of how Acceptance manifests for different people:

• Participating with situations that are open and accepting of everyone
• Feeling a sense of acceptance by coworkers
• Being accepted by neighbors
• Being accepted as a valuable member of a family group
• Being accepted into a club or group
• Working with people who need extra attention and acceptance
• Feeling loved
• Accepting whatever comes up in life
• Doing things that make others feel good
• Being nice regardless of the situation or the person
• Being tolerant of self and others

Positive aspects: Understanding and participating in love and loving situations, romance, bondedness, sense of family or tribe, self-esteem, self-forgiveness, forgiveness of others, altruistic, humanitarian.
Negative aspects: Rejection, jealousy, prejudice, guilt, shame, hate, xenophobia (group prejudice, fear of different classes of people)
How this need affects the workplace: People who have a need for Acceptance are a valuable addition to any group. They will often be a stabilizing presence and help others tolerate each other a little better. They may "go along" to whatever proposals are made to avoid any conflict in a group. It is very hard for them to express any different opinion because of their fear of being rejected.
A person with a need for Acceptance needs to feel they are accepted, as well as accepting others. They can be seen as a "doormat" with no opinion of their own or their time may be abused since they will rarely criticize others or say "no." Because of this, they may be rejected by others, which causes them more severe pain because of their high need for Acceptance.

Community

People with a need for Community like having people around. They are highly social and will express their enjoyment of gatherings. These are the best folks to put in charge of parties and company gatherings. They will seek out people and are able to maintain large numbers of relationships. The need for Community is different from the need for Exchange in that the need for Community does not require the exchange of anything.
Examples of how Community manifests for different people:

• Throwing parties for the slightest of reasons
• Being the center of the office network
• Participating in classes, groups, clubs
• Going to a shopping mall or concert just to be around large groups of people
• Being the cook for large family gatherings
• Hosting family gatherings, groups of friends
• Opening their home to people with common interests that may be in town for some reason
• Running for public office
• Gathering signatures for a petition or ballot initiative
• Being part of a campaign to save the rain forests or a wild life area
• Creating a learning center for people interested in political, social, environmental or spiritual goals

Positive aspects: Need to be around other people; highly social; need to be tribal; ability to have and relate to children, grandchildren, distant relatives; need for family; need for bonding at a wider level; political and ecological participation; responsibility as a citizen; sense of one's own importance and dignity in relation to the rest of humanity.
Negative aspects: Indiscriminate contact, neediness, clinging, dependence, irresponsibility, criminal behavior, short-term thinking.
How this need affects the workplace: People with a need for Community will be with people every chance they can get. They may be the center of the gathering or on the sidelines. They may be the ones bringing forth proposals that point out a company's responsibilities to the environment or the community.
These are not people to be sent to work in an isolated laboratory, work the midnight shift or sent on a mission where they will not be able to socialize with others. Because socializing is such an innate talent with them, others may feel jealous and not understand the high need to be with other people. Others who are less social may be compared inappropriately and told, "If they can do it, so can you." That's not necessarily so. Not everyone has an inherent need (or even tolerance) for very high social contact. The less-social folks may want tag along occasionally, letting those with Community gather the crowds.

Expression

Expression is the need to be artistic, to be seen, to be heard, to be felt. It is the need to express oneself through words, speech, actions, dress, art and self-creations of all types.
Examples of how Expression manifests for different people:

• Expressing through the Internet (creating web sites, writing newsletters, creating graphic art, stating opinions)
• Writing books, poems, articles
• Reading poetry at coffee houses
• Writing opinion articles for newspapers and magazines
• Public speaking about topics that are near and dear to the speaker
• Creating art in all forms (painting, jewelry, crafts, interior design, graphic design, furniture design, architecture)
• Teaching creative thinking classes or workshops
• Designing company logos or ad campaigns
• Coaching children in creative arts
• Dancing or teaching dance in all forms
• Acting in movies, plays or local theaters

Positive aspects: Demonstrating individual creativity, showing balance, getting in touch with creativity, promoting understanding (by revealing self) through art, words, behavior; being a living expression of "who I am."
Negative aspects: Invasion of other's space (too much self-expression), self-centered, temperamental, blind to other's value, lying, creating or expressing a false image.
How this need affects the workplace: People with a need for Expression will be happiest when they are free to express their inherent creativity. Examples might be through writing or designing a company newsletter; creating a company logo; developing company brochures; designing a new work space arrangement; creating designs for new products , services or related materials; designing or maintaining a company's Internet web site; giving speeches on behalf of the company's values, goals and mission (if they reflect the person's values and beliefs).
In many companies, expression of individuality is rigidly controlled and monitored. This may lead to destruction of an individual's ability to function fully and productively in that environment.
For a person with a need for Expression, such an environment will either drive them toward negative expressions or they will go where their creativity is valued. People who cannot be creative or expressive through their work, may find outlets in community activities that are sufficient to satisfy their need for Expression.

Types of Listening

Discriminative listening

Discriminative listening is the most basic type of listening, whereby the difference between difference sounds is identified. If you cannot hear differences, then you cannot make sense of the meaning that is expressed by such differences.
We learn to discriminate between sounds within our own language early, and later are unable to discriminate between the phonemes of other languages. This is one reason why a person from one country finds it difficult to speak another language perfectly, as they are unable distinguish the subtle sounds that are required in that language.
Likewise, a person who cannot hear the subtleties of emotional variation in another person's voice will be less likely to be able to discern the emotions the other person is experiencing.
Listening is a visual as well as auditory act, as we communicate much through body language. We thus also need to be able to discriminate between muscle and skeletal movements that signify different meanings.

Comprehension listening

The next step beyond discriminating between different sound and sights is to make sense of them. To comprehend the meaning requires first having a lexicon of words at our fingertips and also all rules of grammar and syntax by which we can understand what others are saying.
The same is true, of course, for the visual components of communication, and an understanding of body language helps us understand what the other person is really meaning.
In communication, some words are more important and some less so, and comprehension often benefits from extraction of key facts and items from a long spiel.
Comprehension listening is also known  as content listening, informative listening and full listening.

Critical listening

Critical listening is listening in order to evaluate and judge, forming opinion about what is being said. Judgment includes assessing strengths and weaknesses, agreement and approval.
This form of listening requires significant real-time cognitive effort as the listener analyzes what is being said, relating it to existing knowledge and rules, whilst simultaneously listening to the ongoing words from the speaker.

Biased listening

Biased listening happens when the person hears only what they want to hear, typically misinterpreting what the other person says based on the stereotypes and other biases that they have. Such biased listening is often very evaluative in nature.

Evaluative listening

In evaluative listening, or critical listening, we make judgments about what the other person is saying. We seek to assess the truth of what is being said. We also judge what they say against our values, assessing them as good or bad, worthy or unworthy.
Evaluative listening is particularly pertinent when the other person is trying to persuade us, perhaps to change our behavior and maybe even to change our beliefs. Within this, we also discriminate between subtleties of language and comprehend the inner meaning of what is said. Typically also we weigh up the pros and cons of an argument, determining whether it makes sense logically as well as whether it is helpful to us.
Evaluative listening is also called critical, judgmental or interpretive listening.

Appreciative listening

In appreciative listening, we seek certain information which will appreciate, for example that which helps meet our needs and goals. We use appreciative listening when we are listening to good music, poetry or maybe even the stirring words of a great leader.

Sympathetic listening

In sympathetic listening we care about the other person and show this concern in the way we pay close attention and express our sorrow for their ills and happiness at their joys.

Empathetic listening

When we listen empathetically, we go beyond sympathy to seek a truer understand how others are feeling. This requires excellent discrimination and close attention to the nuances of emotional signals. When we are being truly empathetic, we actually feel what they are feeling.
In order to get others to expose these deep parts of themselves to us, we also need to demonstrate our empathy in our demeanor towards them, asking sensitively and in a way that encourages self-disclosure.

Therapeutic listening

In therapeutic listening, the listener has a purpose of not only empathizing with the speaker but also to use this deep connection in order to help the speaker understand, change or develop in some way.
This not only happens when you go to see a therapist but also in many social situations, where friends and family seek to both diagnose problems from listening and also to help the speaker cure themselves, perhaps by some cathartic process. This also happens in work situations, where managers, HR people, trainers and coaches seek to help employees learn and develop.

Dialogic listening

The word 'dialogue' stems from the Greek words 'dia', meaning 'through' and 'logos' meaning 'words'. Thus dialogic listening mean learning through conversation and an engaged interchange of ideas and information in which we actively seek to learn more about the person and how they think.
Dialogic listening is sometimes known as 'relational listening'.

Relationship listening

Sometimes the most important factor in listening is in order to develop or sustain a relationship. This is why lovers talk for hours and attend closely to what each other has to say when the same words from someone else would seem to be rather boring.
Relationship listening is also important in areas such as negotiation and sales, where it is helpful if the other person likes you and trusts you.

Positive Psychology

 Positive Psychology

Positive Psychology is a newer and increasingly popular branch of psychology that seeks to focus not on pathology, but on what contributes to human happiness and emotional health. It focuses on strengths, virtues, and factors that help people thrive and achieve a sense of fulfillment, as well as more effectively manage stress.

History

The Positive Psychology movement has its roots in the work of humanistic psychologists such as Abraham Maslow, who tried to focus more on healthy human development and less on pathology, but really came into being as we know it around 1998. It was primarily founded by psychologist Martin Seligman, who made it the focus of his American Psychological Association presidency and inspired others to contribute to this growing area of study. For Seligman, it became clear that there must be a new branch of psychology when he thought of how he wanted to raise his young daughter. He knew much more about what causes pathology and how to correct that, than he knew about how to nurture strength, resilience and emotional health. This had been a greatly under-studied area of research, so it became his primary focus.

Focus of Positive Psychology

Positive Psychology aims to discover what makes us thrive. It looks at questions like, ‘What contributes to happiness?’, ‘What are the health effects of positive emotions?’ and, ‘What habits and actions can build personal resilience?’ So far, they’ve found some wonderful things. For example, it’s well-documented that negative emotions like anger, anxiety, and sadness can impact our health in negative ways, such as triggering our stress response and contributing to chronic stress, making us more susceptible to cardiovascular disease. But Positive Psychology research has now found that positive emotions can aid health by undoing the physical reactivity that can lead to these problems.

The way we speak...

During the transmitting of the message, two elements will be received: content and context. Content is the actual words or symbols of the message that is known as language, the spoken and written words combined into phrases that make grammatical and semantic sense. We all use and interpret the meanings of words differently, so even simple messages can be misunderstood. And many words have different meanings to confuse the issue even more.
Context is the way the message is delivered and is known as paralanguage it is the nonverbal elements in speech such as the tone of voice, the look in the sender's eyes, body language, hand gestures, and state of emotions (anger, fear, uncertainty, confidence, etc.) that can be detected. Although paralanguage or context often cause messages to be misunderstood as we believe what we see more than what we hear; they are powerful communicators that help us to understand each other. Indeed, we often trust the accuracy of nonverbal behaviors more than verbal behaviors.
Some leaders think they have communicated once they told someone to do something, “I don't know why it did not get done. I told him to do it.” More than likely, he misunderstood the message. A message has not been communicated unless it is understood by the receiver.Communication is an exchange, not just a give, as all parties must participate to complete the information exchange.

Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood.

Freeman Teague, Jr.

Do you know it "Empathy" ?

We discussed about empathy. Are we empathetic? How can be?  and the cases about it.

But we as a human how we become empathetic.

In the  eye of me as a chemist. I would like to share physical state of mind..

Like researches indicates that;

"Research in recent years has focused on possible brain processes underlying the experience of empathy. For instance, functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) has been employed to investigate the functional anatomy of empathy.These studies have shown that observing another person's emotional state activates parts of the neuronal network involved in processing that same state in oneself, whether it is disgust, touch,^[or pain. The study of the neural underpinnings of empathy has received increased interest following the target paper published by Preston and Frans de Waal ,following the discovery of mirror neurons in monkeys that fire both when the creature watches another perform an action as well as when they themselves perform it. In their paper, they argued that attended perception of the object's state automatically activates neural representations, and that this activation automatically primes or generates the associated autonomic and somatic responses, unless inhibited. This mechanism is similar to the common coding theory between perception and action."


So we are naturally empathic, just we should learn that how we interpret it.......

Bad & Good

We always want to learn what people think about us. In business also we expect that. Everyday we pay lots of attention what we have done in projects, what other collegues do and how we understood by superiors.
Feedbacks are not only a motivator but also demotivator. That depends how we accept them simply bad and good. Firstly, people always want to hear positive ones than negatives. For instance when manager says " I like this project that seems you add new ideas in it " that is a good motivator but when he/she says " That is not fit in this project, you should revise it" you dont want to be in this office anymore. Because you spend much time as always and manager did not recognize it.

On the other side, when we give feedback, it should be equalized how it will be a praise or a feedback. Because feedbacks, when they are negative ones especially, should be constructive. If it is not that becomes a sentence that makes you unhappy. So, that are needs to pay time to give it.

In conclusion, feedbacks are always can not be cheer you up but we always think that how we can accept and how we develop ourselves. Giving a feedback shows that the ability of observation. If you a good observer you can give good feedbacks.